The Great Electric Fence Escapade

Once upon a time, in the not-so-quiet countryside, I found myself embroiled in a pastoral comedy of errors that could only unfold on a farm where health and safety manuals fear to tread. Picture this: a sunny day, a flock of sheep, and a sheepdog with a wicked sense of humour—or so I suspect. My loyal canine companion decided that, instead of herding sheep, it was far more entertaining to watch me, the bipedal shepherd, attempting to mimic his agile manoeuvres. The result? More of a circus act than a pastoral scene, with me as the bumbling ringmaster.

But wait, the plot thickens! Upon my return, panting and dignity somewhat frayed, I was greeted by a sight so bewildering it would give a health and safety inspector nightmares for weeks. My father, ever the innovator in the absence of common sense, had concocted a plan so daring, so audacious, it could only have sprung from the mind of a man who views danger as a mere inconvenience.

There, in all its glory, was our trusty tractor, its front bucket raised to the heavens like the hand of Zeus himself. But the pièce de résistance? A ladder, fully extended from the pinnacle of this makeshift tower, reaching towards an electric fence perched precariously atop the silage shed. The total height? An eye-watering 25 metres, give or take a leap of faith.

The mission? To repair the electric fence that, for reasons known only to the gods of agriculture, was installed in a location accessible only to birds, intrepid climbers, and apparently, us. My father, clad in his best "engineering" attire (wellies and Jacket), stood ready to ascend our modern-day Tower of Babel, armed with nothing but his wits and a questionable grasp of electrical work.

So, with a deep breath and a silent prayer to the patron saint of reckless farmers, up he went, ladder swaying in the breeze like a leaf. Below, I stood, ready to catch him, the ladder, or perhaps both, should physics decide to reassert itself.

Miraculously, the fence was fixed, my father descended like a triumphant mountaineer, and the day was saved. The sheep, oblivious to our aerial antics, continued to graze, and the sheepdog? He gave us a look that said, "You humans are endlessly entertaining."

And so, dear readers, let this tale be a reminder: in the world of farming, necessity is the mother of invention, and sometimes, you just have to climb a little higher to fix a problem. Just, you know, don't try this at home. Or anywhere, really. Let's leave the sky-high repairs to the professionals and keep our feet, and ladders, firmly on the ground.

Disclaimer: This story is a humorous take on farm life and the lengths to which farmers sometimes go to solve problems. It is not an endorsement of unsafe practices. This was also 40 years ago.  Always follow health and safety guidelines.